Joy!

People are always on the search for joy. Even Christians are trying to find how they can have that wonderful joy they've tasted from time to time all the time. 

When people are looking for joy they tend to look for the things that bring it, but what if we look for the things that destroy it?

One of joy's biggest enemies is a little hyphenated word known as Self-pity. Now before you start resisting and thinking I never feel sorry for myself! Just sit down and listen to someone who once thought the same thought.

More Fun with Friends!

This is how I've always known or seen Self-pity to act. It's only fun with friends. If a young child decides to feel sorry for themselves is usually looks like, pouting lip, slumping posture and a refusal to enter into playing. They put on their little victim show for you because they hope you'll feel sorry for them! Fat chance!

In our house feeling-sorry-for-yourself is right up there on the offense list with lying and talking back. Its intolerable.

But children have not cornered the market on feeling sorry for oneself. Adults are good at it too. Have you ever heard someone grumble or complain? Self-pity. And you'll notice misery loves company, they love to grumble in groups! It's only fun if someones around to feel sorry for you. 

Joy and self-pity cannot abide together. If you chose to play the victim and enter into the thinking poor me my life is so difficult you can just wave goodbye to joy. When one falls into self-pity they feel justified in how they're acting. But I've looked self-pity in the face and all I see is misery and depression. They feel their gaining some victory, but really they're losing.

The Silent Sufferer.

Everyone can fall into self-pity as described above, though it seems some personalities have more of a tendency to it than others. 

Self-pity wasn't something I ever really got in trouble for. So I assumed that wasn't on my list of things that needed addressing.

The Lord decided to address it and I realized there are at least two forms of self-pity. (I guess the enemy wanted to make sure there was a flavor for everyone to try.)

The second form of self-pity I like to call The Silent Sufferer. Unlike the first version this version is savored alone, thus making it very dangerous because no one knows.

I've been learning how to let the Lord take care of me, and in this process I stumbled upon an incredible joy! Not carrying around the burdens of life on your own is very freeing! 

I'd been enjoying this new way of life when one day the joy was gone. 

We were working on a job that had been testing my patience (at an extreme level!) Self-control was working overtime on this one and I was feeling fatigued. Self-pity saw it's opening and took it. This isn't right. You shouldn't have to put up with this kind of mistreatment. You give 110% ALL the time and no one appreciates it. They only care about themselves. "Hey! Yeah!" Sadly I fell for it. So now I was wallowing around in the mud of my silent self-pity wondering where joy had gone. (Can you blame her for leaving?) 

Then in my ignorance, while dripping with sludge, I looked to the Lord and asked "Lord what happened? Where's joy?" 

"She won't wallow with you in self-pity. If you let go of your grievance so you can get out of there, she'll come back."

Let go of my grievance? 

When you play the victim it's because you have a grievance and it can be very hard to let go of it!

Let go of my grievance? But... but... Lord don't you see how unfair this is?!? They're mistreating me! If I let go then they won't be punished! 

Silence. He didn't have to say it, I knew exactly what I needed to do and only I could choose it. If I was going to let Him take care of me than I couldn't fight for myself and I let go of my grievance. And would you believe it, joy came back!

Joy is found in selflessness. I have more joy today than I've ever had in my life. Why? Because I've found that to give is better than to receive.

"I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Acts 20:35

The more you think about yourself the less joy you have. And the pinnacle of selfishness is self-pity. When I was feeling sorry for myself, who was I thinking about? Me! I didn't care about anyone else, I couldn't see anyone else's side of things, all I cared about was Me and how the situation was effecting Me. 

This life is unfair, we are mistreated, misunderstood, and unappreciated, but the Bible says:

For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame."

Romans 10:11

Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord.

Therefore

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head."

Do no be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:19-21

"But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.

Luke 6:35

"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:11

The Lord meant for our joy to to be full! Now that doesn't mean we'll be giggling and grinning every minute, for narrow is the gate and difficult is the way that leads to life. But we don't EVER have to feel sorry for ourselves. We have been adopted as sons and daughters of the King so we have full access to everything the Father has. That means even on the hardest days we have confidence that He will provide. Thus our joy need never be stolen again. 

So let go of your grievances today and walk in the joy of the Lord!