Over the last two and half weeks I have had three times of mistaken time. The first was a volunteer meeting that was 2:30 - 4 PM. I showed up to find the meeting had already started. I awkwardly found a seat and discretely checked the meeting email to find it had said 2 - 3:30 PM. Where I got the time I thought it was I'll never know!
The next Tuesday morning I showed up to a new client's marketing meeting that the director had told me twice started at 9:30 AM. Once again I came in to find the meeting was already in progress. After the meeting I learned from other participants that the meeting actually starts at 9 AM. (Great first impression on the marketing team! Despite my tardiness they all loved me.)
Then tonight my parents, eight younger siblings and I all piled into the van and headed over to a His Little Feet concert. When we showed up to the church we found the parking lot eerily empty. My mom checked the time to find we were there a week early!
His perfect timing.
If I am being completely honest, this statement makes me feel kind of sick to my stomach. Now don't get me wrong, this statement is true and I desire only His timing in my life, but this specific phrase has been the pat answer that did little to comfort me when I faced unanswerable questions and pain in my life. As the humorous examples above show, His timing does not always seem "perfect". So, we trust in the fact that He knows what we need better than we do. Apparently, I did not need to hear or contribute to the first half of those meetings I was late for! And our 35-40 minute van ride tonight gave my siblings and I time to chat and sing together.
The perfectness of His timing is based on contributing factors that I may not see this side of heaven. I want His timing but it just may not always seem "perfect" from my vantage point.
I'm not writing this to spoil this saying for those who still find it encouraging. Please, if it helps you speak it to yourself! But for those whose hearts are aching over all you don't understand about His timing let me share hope.
He loves and cares deeply about you. He understands the challenge of our blind position and is not out to slap us with a simple statement about His timing being perfect. He knows His timing can be hard.
The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18
In Strong's some of the first definitions for the word "saves" means: to be open, wide or free, to be safe.
This description makes me think of a child taking refuge in their father's arms. His arms are open wide and He is a safe place to rest when His perfect timing has left you feeling broken and hurting. This may seem like a contradictory thing to do. When you feel hurt by Him to snuggle up in His arms, but I can tell you from experience that anger and suspicion only kept me from what I needed most. When I'm resting in His arms, bathed in His love, the unanswered questions fall silent and I can make peace with all that I cannot understand about His timing, because I know He loves me.
I may not always enjoy His timing or understand it, but from the time spent in His arms I know I can trust Him with my life and you can too.
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